I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
dude. I can hear the air.
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