..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
