My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize