Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
