I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
