brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I hate all girls vehemently.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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