We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
