I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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