can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
