break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
