Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
