I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
