Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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