Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
