New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
