In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
