Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
