8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I am mentally ready for anal.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
