He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
