Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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