i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Two words: blizzard sex
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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