Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
