I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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