he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
