He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
