Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
