his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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