My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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