this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
