The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Come see our sink grown plant.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
