He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
