White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
