He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
