East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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