so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
