you turned your livingroom into a bong?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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