i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
