Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
