There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
