I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
