how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
