you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
