But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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