it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
