Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
