my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize