we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize