We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
