He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
