I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I CAN MOONWALK!
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
