I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
