meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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