happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
