Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize
