im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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