I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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