So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I love having hate sex.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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