i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
