OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
