Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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