If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
