I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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