idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
