She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
