She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
3pm strippers are depressing
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
