i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You pole danced in your parka.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
