Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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