the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It's Friday. Sex?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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