Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I faked an abortion last night.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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