stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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