Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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