I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
