i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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