So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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