Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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