I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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