yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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