she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
